xvi: Why did you just ask me if you're fat?

Why would you just ask me if you're fat? Do you plan on cheating on me? And you just want to know what your number is so you know how high to reach for? 'Cause if it's just about whether or not your clothes look good. I mean let's be serious, you know everything you could wear, as soon as you put it on becomes sexy as F***! You mean you actually care more about how other people see you than how I do? Even though I support your lifestyle?

You realize: If I had a problem with the way you looked, I wouldn't have just stuck my penis in your a** last night! Or had you show yourself off and do a little striptease for me before hand! Or sit and stare at your body shift and move and muscles tense and release and watch your ass wiggle or your breasts jiggle for an hour before that as you organized your dresser! Or bought you a 'barely there' slut suit for our next tryst! Or told you how amazing you look with that new hairstyle! Or snuck up behind you and acted like a naughty burglar who wanted his ball sack licked! OR STUCK MY PENIS INSIDE YOU!!!!!!! Or, told you how good you've looked for every other day for the past week. Or ate that pudgy P***Y before you just got into the shower, that you just got out of. Or on Thursday after you were too tired to play, when I told you “you have what I think is the perfect body and I would be more than happy to just sit here and hold it.” OR WHEN I STUCK MY PENIS INSIDE YOU!!!!!!!

(I'm telling you, a fat ass is a good thing)

So, what's the point in asking? Oh yeah, that's right, you're trying to find a reason to start a fight and need me to say ANYTHING, so you can turn it into a negative and get a chance to hear yourself yell for the next 30 minutes.

And yes, I know I've said that I, like most men, would stick my penis inside pretty much any woman who bent over for it. So you may not believe what I say on a day to day basis, especially in the area of things I'll say to get you on your knees. But come on, if you don't believe me anyway, why the hell did you just ask me?

Besides, why ask a question you already know the answer? Or you won't except the answer.

Besides just look at Hayden Panitiere, cellulite can be sexy.

Jam.