xiv: Do I love you after three dates?

No F-N way! I didn't even know if I liked Doritos until I had them like 10 times!And guess what, I don't like them. Just be glad that I put up with you talking on the phone for ten minutes in the middle of our second date. But even that was because I knew I was getting some later. Don't tell me you “want just sex! None of that messy relationship stuff. Just have some fun for a while.” And then spring the “you haven't said you love me yet!” or “so when I'm I going to get to meet your family? Or at least become your girlfriend?” Don't bring that at me after the third, fourth, or even eighth time you've swallowed a couple million of my buddies! Because, that's what we started this as, you get off. I get off. We say goodnight and go our separate ways.

Oh, it “surprises” you that our “relationship” is based on sex? See that's funny, because I thought the only thing we had together was sex. We don't like the same things, we don't know the same people, we don't go to the same bars, we don't talk, I bought you dinner twice because you had worked late and I wanted a chipper bitch to F' not a bitch bitch to F'.

And now don't get it wrong that I hate you. Especially, not because I call you all kinds of horrible, awful, sick, disgusting and nasty names while you're doing all those nasty, awful, sick, horrid-good feeling things- that would kill your Grandma, and make your Mother pass out if they even thought you were doing half of what you were doing before I got my pants off! Those are just my way of letting you know that you're doing a good job.

And please remember, a guy would not say those things to the future mother of his child if he gave half an 'S' about you.

PS. I love ya babe,

Jam.