Saturday, April 17, 2010
xvii: How can you compete with a pornstar??
Oh, you want to know why I watch porn? Hum, well let me see....it's been how long since you got “the feeling” oh yeah, neither of us can remember! Now you want me to stop watching porn, and why is that?
And I quote “Look at those girls, how can I compete with that?” How can you compete with that?
How can YOU STANDING RIGHT HERE FULLY CLOTHED, compete with that on the screen.
Um I don't know......MAYBE OPEN YOUR DAMN LEGS UP? The only difference I can see between that girl on the screen and you, IS THAT SHE IS ACTUALLY HAVING SEX WITH SOME ONE!
Have you seen what most hardcore porn actresses look like? Bad teethed, uneven eyed, chubby or too skinny, bad nipples, bad hair, straight up ugly?
But millions of men watch and want and get off because they do this strange and mysterious thing called F*****G, AND SUCKING AND ACTING LIKE A NASTY GLITTER PIG!
And that's the ones who don't swallow, like Riley Mason!. Just think how amazing Brittney Madison (God rest her lovely soul) was to a guy, or Lain Oi, or Jamie Elle, or Faith (who once swallowed 18 times in less than thirty minutes), or Keri Sable! Who swallow so much it's beautiful! And you are not competing with anyone, because you are the Star, you simply seem to be in retirement or something. And so if you still don't know how you can compete with that porn star, I guess I can't help you.
Sorry this was a shorter one I had to go the Passover.
Jam
Saturday, April 10, 2010
xvi: Why did you just ask me if you're fat?
Why would you just ask me if you're fat? Do you plan on cheating on me? And you just want to know what your number is so you know how high to reach for? 'Cause if it's just about whether or not your clothes look good. I mean let's be serious, you know everything you could wear, as soon as you put it on becomes sexy as F***! You mean you actually care more about how other people see you than how I do? Even though I support your lifestyle?
You realize: If I had a problem with the way you looked, I wouldn't have just stuck my penis in your a** last night! Or had you show yourself off and do a little striptease for me before hand! Or sit and stare at your body shift and move and muscles tense and release and watch your ass wiggle or your breasts jiggle for an hour before that as you organized your dresser! Or bought you a 'barely there' slut suit for our next tryst! Or told you how amazing you look with that new hairstyle! Or snuck up behind you and acted like a naughty burglar who wanted his ball sack licked! OR STUCK MY PENIS INSIDE YOU!!!!!!! Or, told you how good you've looked for every other day for the past week. Or ate that pudgy P***Y before you just got into the shower, that you just got out of. Or on Thursday after you were too tired to play, when I told you “you have what I think is the perfect body and I would be more than happy to just sit here and hold it.” OR WHEN I STUCK MY PENIS INSIDE YOU!!!!!!!
(I'm telling you, a fat ass is a good thing)
So, what's the point in asking? Oh yeah, that's right, you're trying to find a reason to start a fight and need me to say ANYTHING, so you can turn it into a negative and get a chance to hear yourself yell for the next 30 minutes.
And yes, I know I've said that I, like most men, would stick my penis inside pretty much any woman who bent over for it. So you may not believe what I say on a day to day basis, especially in the area of things I'll say to get you on your knees. But come on, if you don't believe me anyway, why the hell did you just ask me?
Besides, why ask a question you already know the answer? Or you won't except the answer.
Besides just look at Hayden Panitiere, cellulite can be sexy.
Jam.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
xv: Dirty talk?
And yes, I capitalized Penis because that is his proper name! All these other names are all well and good and all, but seriously, we're all adults here. That thing that is the only reason why the civilization has existed for so long, that sits between my legs, that all men worry is adequate enough, that all women wish they could have, so much to the point that the fashion things that look like them so they can pretend to be like a man, even in deep African tribes that are controlled by women, the women use sticks and twine to make it look like they have 'em and take “wives” from the five to ten year old little girls in the tribe and try to copulate with them, and even Pink can't help but say “give me head” or “suck my dick”, that you (and many childish males) call all sorts of names and relate to objects, is a Penis. That's fine. It's a Penis, it penetrates, it elevates, alleviates, creates-life, it doesn't descriminate against BBW's or Grannies or lolis with huge racks, and it's mine. But it can be yours for about an hour and a half tomorrow night while it's inside you.
And last thing, do not, and I mean DO NOT bring up a guys mother or sister in a sexual situation during dirty talk, unless or course you've spoken about his family and he has said that for some reasons he thinks that sort of “All in the Family” thing is okay.
His brother is okay, as long as they like each other, and the scenario involves yourself, your guy and his brother in some sort of finger-cuffs situation, or a D.P. With tons of ass to mouth.
PS. You (in this make believe) would have to either, swallow the brother's load or shit it back out later. Because the vag is off limits to his brother.
Jam
xiv: Do I love you after three dates?
Oh, it “surprises” you that our “relationship” is based on sex? See that's funny, because I thought the only thing we had together was sex. We don't like the same things, we don't know the same people, we don't go to the same bars, we don't talk, I bought you dinner twice because you had worked late and I wanted a chipper bitch to F' not a bitch bitch to F'.
And now don't get it wrong that I hate you. Especially, not because I call you all kinds of horrible, awful, sick, disgusting and nasty names while you're doing all those nasty, awful, sick, horrid-good feeling things- that would kill your Grandma, and make your Mother pass out if they even thought you were doing half of what you were doing before I got my pants off! Those are just my way of letting you know that you're doing a good job.
And please remember, a guy would not say those things to the future mother of his child if he gave half an 'S' about you.
Jam.
xiii: Nicknames?
Now, my brother ended up once using “nicknames” once, but see he got around having her call him “baby” ALL THE TIME by having her call him “Boo-Bay” and himself calling her “Boo-Bee” which I say “why not call a chesty woman booby?” It's better than when I was calling a chesty black girl I was hitting “Tootsie Tits” because she HATED it, and simply because I wanted her to stop calling me her “Cummy Bear”. Which I later decided I liked, but unfortunately not until after she had already decided she wanted a different man's honey in her pot (mouth!).
But seriously nicknames? Okay then how about you just call me DICK and I'll call you “MY LITTLE WHORE” No? Okay then how about we both drop it then?
I'm out like Ricky Martin bitches!
Jam
xii: Lying to trap a man!
xi: An so ladies, about this whole blowjob thing.
It's for show, it looks good on tape , but it isn't any good in reality. And most pornstars don't have a clue as to a blowjob. Especially, the hotter the worse the BJ. Case in point Brittney Skye. She is not my type, but I can see why many guys would be head over heels for her, even though she's awful. The only reason why some of the guys can even maintain an erection is because they took Viagra before hand.
And again to you chicks, why would just keeping your mouth open as wide as possible and slamming your face into a guy stomach feel good? The only thing happening is that occasionally your teeth scrape some skin off the penis.
Many men use the term “Suck” and that's a good description. Because sucking makes up about 50% of what feels good; 25% motion -ANY motion; and the missing part is TONGUE -if done right the tongue can over take the sucking as the best part. If you are going to steal some moves watch: Monica Sweetheart, Bianca Pureheart, and if you have a quick gag reflex watch Melanie Jagger. (If you have no gagfactor watch Ashley Blue) Plus “spit” or “slobber” is an important thing that gets over looked a lot. Also a lost art is the “dry blowjob” which Sharka Blue from Czech and Kyra from Hungary both of whom seem to be experts.
Well anyway, until next time.
Goodbye,
Jam